Leadership: Becoming a Better Leader
Napoleon once said, "One bad general does better than two good ones." The wisdom is timeless: having one clear set of instructions, even if flawed, is preferable to two sets of perfect directions that, when enacted together without coordination, cause chaos. This is leadership in a nutshell—maintaining focus and creating positive outcomes. Leadership can be learned. While some are born with natural leadership traits, dedication to the art of leadership matters far more. Leadership involves understanding how to inspire, influence, and guide how people behave. It is not about shouting, having a deep voice, or physical stature—Gandhi possessed none of these yet led a nation and inspired millions. In modern business, leadership is knowledge-driven. The lowest-ranking employee with a critical, innovative idea can effectively lead the direction of a vast corporation. Anyone with essential knowledge can demonstrate leadership. This guide explores what true leadership requires, the dark personality types that sabotage it, how to lead and influence people, how to get the most from your team, and ten actionable ways to become a better leader.
Understanding the Dark Side of Leadership
When a leader's personality traits go unchecked, they can create a rigid, dysfunctional environment that stifles creativity and ruins relationships. Recognizing these patterns—in yourself or in those above you—is the first step to correcting or mitigating them.
The Compulsive Leader
Compulsive leaders feel they must do everything themselves. They refuse to delegate, cannot resist controlling every detail, and lack trust in others to take responsibility. They are perfectionists following rigid daily routines, obsessed with status, and constantly seeking approval from superiors. This leads to workaholism, and their team is viewed as failing if they cannot match the pace. Spontaneity is discouraged because it disrupts the routine. Despite the appearance of total control, these leaders are often suppressing deep anger and resentment, making them prone to explosive outbursts when they perceive they're losing grip. This often stems from a childhood where unrealistic expectations were placed on them.
The Narcissistic Leader
Narcissistic leaders are entirely self-focused. The world revolves around them; they must be at the center of everything. They exaggerate their own merits while devaluing others' accomplishments, which they perceive as threats. The worst narcissists cannot tolerate even a hint of criticism and surround themselves with sycophants who reinforce their self-delusions. They use others' merits for personal advancement without hesitation. Their inability to empathize stems from a deep-seated inferiority complex—no matter how much they achieve, it never feels like enough. Some take on a sidekick who serves only to reflect glory onto them. Productive narcissists, however, can step back, laugh at their own irrational needs, and channel their vision into organizational success by getting everyone to identify with and think like them.
The Paranoid Leader
Paranoid leaders view even mild criticism as devastating and overreact to perceived attacks, especially in public, with open hostility. This stems from an inferiority complex that distorts constructive feedback into personal assaults. They guard themselves carefully, suspicious that colleagues will steal their limelight or challenge their position. Yet a healthy dose of paranoia can be valuable in business—it keeps leaders alert, aware of opportunities, and far from complacency.
The Codependent Leader
Codependent leaders avoid taking the lead, instead copying what others do. They avoid confrontation, covering up problems rather than facing them. Planning ahead is not their strength; they react to events rather than shaping outcomes. They hoard important information because they're unprepared to act on it, leaving their team in the dark. They accept blame for situations they didn't cause and take on excessive workloads rather than saying no. They are not leaders at all.
The Passive-Aggressive Leader
Passive-aggressive leaders need to control everything, and when they can't, they sabotage those who are in control—sneakily, making them difficult to catch. They are stubborn, purposely forgetful, intentionally inefficient, complain behind closed doors, and procrastinate on demands. When not firmly in the driver's seat, they metaphorically jump out and puncture the tires when no one is looking, then feign horror. They offer full support for decisions, then gossip, backstab, create delays, and claim they were misinterpreted when confronted. Chronically late, they use any excuse to regain control. Dealing with them is draining and frustrating. They are ultimately fearful of success since it leads to higher expectations.
How to Lead and Influence People
Leading people has nothing to do with managing them. Too many managers micromanage while forgetting to lead effectively. Strong leaders lead by example, earning respect and creating lifelong devotees who would move mountains to please them. A manager hiding behind an office door while commanding staff gains no respect. The success of any business lies in the hands of its employees, not the managers. A manager's responsibility is to organize systems that ensure successful project completion. Unhappy staff show their dissatisfaction through declining productivity, affecting the bottom line, increasing customer complaints, and fueling office gossip.
It's All About Relationships
No organization functions without employee cooperation. Status levels within teams can create conflicts if unmanaged. Effective leaders recognize that most employees work to earn money, not because they enjoy the daily grind. For this reason, building healthy relationships is essential; without them, workplace life becomes untenable and productivity declines. Leaders must create a positive workplace society with cooperation and respect, where everyone works toward a common purpose. This requires understanding each other's needs, just as in the home—no personal relationship lasts long if either party is selfish.
The most effective way to understand how people feel is to listen—without judging and without appearing forced. Teams often share their leader's goals but want to know they're not seen as uncreative automatons. Quality workplace relationships make people happy; relationship clashes with leaders or colleagues are a primary reason employees leave.
Leaders must create circumstances for understanding by asking questions. Assuming team members will simply express their feelings is insufficient—many won't speak up unless specifically asked. Listen attentively: don't glance at your watch, interrupt, or fidget. Your expression must be genuine or the situation will worsen. Meeting in social environments—golf outings, monthly barbecues, weekend trips—gives teams a chance to connect away from the daily grind.
Building effective relationships means neither party makes assumptions. You cannot expect people to understand exactly what you want and why without explanation. If team members aren't party to your goals, they can become resistant. Your team should know your goals and how their actions contribute to successful outcomes. Humans function better when not kept in the dark.
Respect is the key ingredient—respect for yourself and others. Genuinely listening and understanding demonstrate respect. Quick judgments based on preconceived ideas or prejudice are the opposite. Accept that your team is made up of individuals whose personal lives may not be perfect. While creating healthy working relationships is crucial, smart leaders remember that conflict is inevitable and must be managed, not ignored for the sake of apparent peace. Relationships can only improve when problems are identified and confronted. Differences between people, when aired, can lead to useful resolutions and unexpected ideas. Letting problems fester ruins workplace atmosphere and productivity.
Keys to successful working relationships:
At least one party should value the relationship—this can start one-way but lead to mutual understanding.
Listen effectively, without judging—this promotes mutual understanding and mutual respect.
Have informal chats—coffee conversations encourage franker exchanges than formal meetings across a desk.
Create an open culture—team members should know they can speak freely, expressing happiness, anger, sadness, or fear. Hoarded negative feelings cause significant problems.
Changing Mindsets by Empowering Others
Leaders must take responsibility for their team's performance, meaning they must be confident the team's direction is correct. While creative sessions to discuss ideas are useful, overarching goals are typically set by the leader or higher authority. The challenge is getting the team onside with given aims, even when some members wholeheartedly disagree or resent top-down imposition.
For a team to work efficiently, members—especially higher-level ones—want to feel they're contributing more than just spade work. The leader must make the team feel involved and motivated. The answer is empowering your team as much as possible. Create a sense that they're actively contributing to the overall outcome. Solicit their opinions and take the best ideas on board. Convince them your goals are shared and their futures are tied to your overall success. Sometimes it's as simple as helping an employee understand their job will be safer if they perform well—reminding them they're working for themselves and their family, not just a company.
Empowering others also means demonstrating leadership qualities that inspire people to act at their very best, no matter what is asked of them—as commanding officers do in the armed services. Soldiers are empowered to greatness by the examples set by their commanding officers. Sometimes it's simply a matter of being an admirable and inspirational human being. We can all strive to lead by example so others feel empowered to make great things happen.
Getting the Most from Your Team
Start right. When a new staff member joins, give them time to acclimatize. Complete an induction and a detailed employment contract outlining expectations. The sooner they settle, the sooner you reap rewards.
Create expectations. Some employees lack a clear sense of their role, causing arguments, task duplication, or omissions. A job description helps everyone understand their responsibilities.
Stand back. Trust your team to work without you peering over their shoulder every fifteen minutes. People flourish when trusted. Motivated staff work harder, and money is often not the prime motivator. They want to know what's expected, then be allowed to get on with it. This is far easier if the right people are employed in the first place.
Communicate. Effective communication is the lifeblood of any organization—face-to-face talks, notice boards, whatever works. Ask your team how they prefer communication to happen. This empowers them.
Keep communicating. Good intentions often start strong—team briefs, newsletters, intranets—then slow down. As a leader, don't let this happen. Inconsistent communication signals you're not bothered about how the team is progressing.
Be honest. Communication is useless if your team believes it's not getting the whole picture. Bad news is still news. Trust your people are mature enough to handle it, or they may feel insulted and stop believing you. Keep your team abreast of everything pertinent to them.
Consult. Effective consultation improves performance. Your collective overview may be more knowledgeable, but specific team members may possess greater knowledge in their areas. Asking their opinion is sensible, not weak, and it empowers them. The more facts you have, the easier and more effective your decisions become. Effective consultation demonstrates respect from you to them.
Train. Training is valuable only if relevant. Sending staff on irrelevant courses alienates them. Training for the sake of training is counter-productive. Ask: Will the training help the business? Is it geared to business priorities? Are the right people receiving it? How can improvement be quantified? Training must be organized and delivered effectively. When it's over, evaluate its worth and identify where improvements should appear. Your team is your most valuable asset; their performance directly impacts the bottom line.
Conduct staff appraisals properly. Appraisals fail when there's no regular system, no paper trail, they're used purely to air grievances (becoming negative), the appraiser isn't trained, or there's no follow-up so improvements are missed. Regular, structured, constructive reviews are essential.
10 Ways to Be a Better Leader
1. Ask to be judged. Finding out what others think of your leadership skills helps you change for the better. Your team is the best source of feedback—they experience your skills daily. Encourage honesty. If you've created a trusting, open environment, anonymous feedback shouldn't be necessary.
2. Don't abuse your power. Never pull rank when people question decisions. Take time to explain the rationale. Your team must be on your side, and that won't happen by declaring something right simply because you're the boss. They may not agree, but they should know why a situation is how it is.
3. Trust your team's intelligence. Let them take actions and make decisions. If you can't trust people to do their jobs, you have the wrong people or you're not managing them properly. Let them work without constant oversight.
4. Listen. Truly listening is one of the greatest leadership skills. Good listeners come across as genuinely interested, empathetic, and concerned. Unhappy team members can only exist where problems haven't been aired. Create an environment where problems can be discussed and solutions found.
5. Stop being an expert on everything. Leaders often achieve their positions through proficiency in a specific area, so they default to telling people what to do or doing it themselves, rather than giving their team the opportunity to develop their own solutions and exercise creativity.
6. Be constructive. Negativity breeds negativity. How you communicate profoundly affects your team. Criticisms will always be necessary, but make them constructive and deliver them without emotional attachment.
7. Judge your success by your team's. The true success of a leader is measured by the success of the people who work for them. You cannot be a successful leader of a failing team. Focus always on building your team's skills and removing obstacles in their way.
8. Don't be a narcissist. Nothing annoys team members more than leaders who make decisions based on how good it will make them look to superiors. Integrity—doing the right thing and giving praise where it's due, even when it's not at your door—is a key leadership skill.
9. Have a sense of humor. People work better when they're enjoying themselves. The work may be dull, but the environment doesn't have to be. Stifling fun stifles creativity. Team members love it when the leader joins in and has fun—this is a tenet of team-building.
10. Don't be too distant. It's possible to show a more human side without revealing your innermost secrets. If mutual respect exists, this should be seen not as vulnerability but as a sign that you're a sentient human being, just as your team members are. Only when your team gets to know the real you will the true foundations of good leadership—trust and respect—be properly established.
Conclusion
Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War: "What enables the wise sovereign and the good general to strike and conquer and achieve things beyond the reach of ordinary men is foreknowledge." This is an often-unmentioned attribute of great leadership—the ability to predict. No matter how many managerial and people skills a leader possesses, all are jeopardized without the ability to anticipate the effects of plans and actions. When all around are hesitant and reluctant to decide, old-style leadership must come into play. The modern leader may utterly fail in this scenario for lack of guts and an over-familiarity with their team. As Sun Tzu also warned: "Some leaders are generous but cannot use their men. They love their men but cannot command them… These leaders create spoiled children. Their soldiers are useless." Leadership may have evolved, but at its heart, it remains about leading. Leading people can be one of the most rewarding experiences possible—done right. Done wrong, it quickly becomes a nightmare. Master the principles in this guide, and you will be respected for your fairness, your skills, and your ability to lead people humanely but effectively toward greatness.
