Negotiation Skills Made Easy
The lack of negotiation skills may put you in the position of purchasing something you don't really want or need—or paying a higher price than you should. If you're negotiating with children or a family member, you'll want to remain calm in the process, state your position clearly, and be able to leverage your position. Negotiation is not reserved for business executives and salespeople. Moms negotiate with children and spouses. Employees negotiate with bosses. Everyone negotiates, no matter what position in life they hold. This guide teaches the fundamental skills to communicate, assess how others are communicating with you, and close deals that leave both parties satisfied.
The Foundations of Successful Negotiation
Negotiation skills can be learned. Whether you're facing small daily negotiations or large life-changing deals, honing your skills builds self-confidence and enables you to create the outcomes that matter to you. You'll also learn to recognize scams during the negotiation process and better protect yourself.
Preparation: The Work You Do Before You Sit Down
You must prepare for the face-to-face negotiation by setting goals for whatever you're negotiating—whether purchasing a new home or getting help cleaning the garage. You need to know what's in it for the other person before you can assess how far they'll take the negotiation process. Learn everything possible about the person and the company they represent.
Preparation also means establishing the limitations you'll set for the final outcome. The old saying applies: "You need to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em." This is never truer than in the negotiating process. Sometimes you simply must walk away. Preparation means knowing when that point arrives. You also need to consider the other person's limitations and when they're likely to walk away if you push too hard.
Negotiating the location where the process will take place also requires skill. Choose the proper location strategically—a neutral, intimate setting with adequate space works best. Avoid noisy, crowded environments where you cannot hear or be heard clearly.
Establishing Goals and Limitations
Setting realistic goals rather than impossible ones is part of the negotiating strategy. Get to know yourself and what you expect. After establishing goals and limitations, prioritize them in order of importance. Not all goals will be achieved in one negotiation, but you must discern which matter most.
Make sure your goals are realistic. When setting limitations, you're determining the absolute bottom line you'll accept as the final outcome. Project alternatives to the deal you're pursuing and consider what to do if your first choices aren't possible. This preparation prevents you from accepting terms you'll later regret.
Communicating Clearly
Clarity in your negotiation methods is paramount to getting what you want. Your idea or proposal may be brilliant, but if you can't convey it effectively, all your effort is wasted. First, organize your thoughts. Make your ideas simple, clear, and concise. Ensure the other person understands your proposal completely.
You negotiate differently with a CEO than with a child. The outcome can be the same—both parties getting something from the process—but how you reach the end differs. Barriers to clear communication exist but are easy to overcome when you know how. Fear of rejection or fear of hurting the other person's feelings are obstacles you must conquer to negotiate successfully.
Know your own rhythms. If you're a morning person forced to communicate in the early evening, or if you're tired before the process begins, acknowledge this and adapt. If you can't control the time and location, learn to make the best of the situation.
Active Listening
Active listening means you're not just listening with your ears—you use your eyes, intuition, and every other advantage to fully understand and appreciate your counterpart's point of view. Learn to recognize when the other person is tuning you out—and when you're beginning to tune them out. There are ways to draw someone back into the process and ways to re-engage yourself.
Staying focused is essential to active listening. If you're not focused on what the other person is saying, you'll be lost at the end and unable to close the deal in your favor. Communication involves far more than words. Understanding body language and other subtle techniques gives you advantages you may never have considered.
Body language provides absolute signals about what someone is thinking. Whether you believe in its importance or not, knowing the subtle ways a person's body can reveal their thoughts gives you more leverage than you imagined. Being able to communicate clearly means listening to the other person and knowing what they're thinking before you reveal your position.
Closing the Deal: The Win-Win Principle
Every deal should be a win-win situation for each negotiator. Both parties should feel they've made a good deal when closing takes place. You'll experience a rush of adrenaline and genuine self-satisfaction when you close a deal that satisfies everyone. A win isn't necessarily getting everything you want. Figure out exactly what you want from the negotiation and find solutions that make both parties happy.
As the closing approaches, recognize when you should concede that the process is over. You may see signals from your counterpart indicating negotiations have concluded, or you may have achieved most of your objectives and sense that nothing more is forthcoming. After the deal, review what happened. Understand what you might have done better to extract more from the process or to improve the outcome for both parties.
Why These Skills Matter
Everyone negotiates. Moms negotiate with children and spouses. Executives negotiate with other companies and with employees in their own organization. Basic negotiation skills are necessary for everyone. Without understanding the simple fundamentals of the negotiating process, you remain vulnerable to anyone who wants to take advantage of your inexperience.
The exercises throughout this guide reinforce what you learn and help you implement these skills so that when you're negotiating, you'll be confident in your ability. Negotiation can become a fascinating pursuit you enjoy. Whatever the outcome, you'll be more prepared the next time you must negotiate. The gap between knowing nothing about negotiation and being confident in your ability to negotiate both large and small deals is bridgeable. The skills are learnable. The process is repeatable. The outcomes are within your control.
